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🌟 Tips for Managing Your Social Life at University for Internationals in the Netherlands

Welcome to our student life guide! University is a time of intense personal and academic growth—but it can also be socially overwhelming. Whether you’re just starting out or trying to find your footing, having a strong social support network can make all the difference. This guide offers practical tips, personal insights, and thoughtful strategies to help you build and maintain a fulfilling social life during your university years, here, in the Netherlands. We also created a podcast whrere we talk about the things mentioned in this post, so if you prefer audio input feel free to listen to it here.

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🎯 Why a Social Life Matters

Strong social connections are essential for both mental health and academic performance (Maurizi et al. 2014). Studies consistently show that students with solid support networks experience lower levels of depression and anxiety, which translates into better focus, motivation, and academic outcomes (e.g. Cohen & Wills, 1985).

In other words, friendships aren’t just nice to have—they’re foundational to your overall success at university.

Podcast quote: “I started university with a small social circle, and when that broke apart, both my mood and grades took a hit.”

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🔄 The Big Transition: High School vs. a Foreign University

One of the most significant shifts from high school to university, especially a foreign one, is the social environment. High school offers a built-in structure of daily classes, familiar faces, and routine interactions. In contrast, university life is often more fragmented, with flexible schedules and students spread across different programs and campuses. Students also have more autonomy and responsibility for managing their own attendance and participation.

This shift means you’ll need to be more intentional about making connections. Taking initiative—whether that means chatting with someone in a lecture, joining a group, or attending a campus event—can go a long way in helping you find your people.

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🌍 Make It Easier For Yourself

If you’re an international student, adjusting to university life comes with additional challenges—but also unique opportunities for growth.

• Language Proficiency: Learning the local language (i.e. Dutch) can be a major advantage. It not only helps you understand your surroundings but also allows you to participate more fully in both social and academic life. Universities in the Netherlands offer courses in Dutch, of which the introductory courses are usually free. Excited to start learning Dutch? We’ve got you covered – check out the links to the Dutch courses at your university in the “links” section of this website at the end of this website!
  
• Cultural Adaptation: Understanding and respecting local norms can ease your integration. It can also open doors to friendships beyond the international student bubble. In the “links” section of this website at the end of this website, you’ll find some helpful links to better understand Dutch social norms. And don’t worry—if you’re ever unsure, just ask a Dutchie! They’re usually more than happy to explain their customs.

Building bridges across cultural lines will enrich your experience and broaden your worldview.

Podcast Quote: “Learning Dutch allowed me to join more events and understand what’s going on around me.”

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🏃‍♀️ Practical Ways to Make Friends

Making friends at a university in the Netherlands doesn’t have to feel forced or awkward. Here are some concrete ideas:

• Join a Sports Club or Gym: Physical activities naturally bring people together. Facilities like ACLO in Groningen are not just great for fitness—they’re also great for finding community.
  
• Attend Public Events and Hobby Meetups: Whether it’s a skating session, a poetry night, or a coding club, shared interests can spark lasting friendships.
  
• Engage in Student Organizations: From academic societies to cultural clubs, these groups offer structured ways to meet people with similar values or goals.
  

Participate in Campus Activities: University events, especially at the start of the academic year, are often designed to help students mingle—so show up and take part!

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🧠 Friends Inside vs. Outside Your Program

Balancing different types of friendships is key to a healthy social life:

• Friends in Your Program:
  
  • Help with coursework and exams
    
  • Share reminders about deadlines
    
  • Provide emotional support during stressful academic periods
    
• Friends Outside Your Program:
  
  • Offer perspective beyond your major
    
  • Help you take mental breaks from study-heavy conversations
    
  • Introduce you to new activities and social scenes
    

Having both types of friends adds variety and resilience to your social life.

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📊 Diversify Your Social Circles

Think of your social life like an investment portfolio—diversification is key. Relying too heavily on one person or group can lead to disappointment through uncomfortable fixation. Instead, build a network of friends across different settings and interests.

Don’t worry if not every connection is a deep one. Sometimes a casual friend for workouts or weekend plans can be just as important as a confidant.

Podcast quote: “I have skating friends, study buddies, and a few close friends I can talk to about anything. That balance really helps.”

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🌱 Long-Term Benefits of Building a Social Network

The friendships you build during university can have lasting impacts on your personal and professional development. Being socially active helps you develop:

• Communication and interpersonal skills
  
• Teamwork and leadership experience
  
• A sense of belonging and confidence
  
• Professional networks that can benefit your career later on

Investing in your social life now can pay off long after graduation.

Podcast quote: “Human capital isn’t just about what you know—it’s also who you know.”

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✅ Most Important Tips for Social Success as a Student in the Netherlands

• Be Proactive: Don’t wait for others to approach you. Say yes to invitations, attend mixers, and follow up with people you click with.
  
• Join Your Study Association: These are not only great for academic resources but also host plenty of social events.
  

Be Patient: Meaningful friendships take time to develop. Give yourself room to grow and explore.

🧩 What to Do Against Social Awkwardness

1. Start Small and Safe: Say hi to someone in class, comment on the lecture, or chat with a roommate. Low-stakes interactions build confidence.
2. Use Simple Conversation Starters: Ask things like “What are you studying?” or “Have you been to this event before?”—they’re easy and effective.
3. Be a Good Listener: Show interest by nodding, asking follow-up questions, and letting others talk. Avoid mentally scripting your next reply while someone else is talking, and react to what they said instead.
4. Challenge Negative Thoughts: Replace self-doubt with realistic reminders: “It’s okay to be nervous,” or “I’m learning and improving.”
5. Reframe Awkwardness as Normal: Everyone feels awkward sometimes—it’s a sign you’re growing and stepping out of your comfort zone, not that something’s wrong.

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👋 In Summary

University is more than lectures and exams—it’s a chance to grow as a person and create connections that could shape your future. The social network you build during these years will support your well-being, enhance your academic life, and potentially launch your career.

So take a chance. Join the club. Attend the event. Say hello. Your future friends are out there—just waiting to meet you!

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📝 Track Your Socializing Progress!

It can be useful to check in with and reflect on how you manage your social life. You can do so by keeping a diary in which you reflect on your social life or list persons that you can always count on. Another helpful resource could be these questionnaires provided below that you can do multiple times and track your development. The first questionnaire is the UCLA Loneliness Scale by Russel (1996). It is a widely used questionnaire measuring subjective feelings of loneliness.

The second questionnaire is a shortened version of the Interpersonal Support Evaluation List by Cohen et al. (1985). It measures Social Support on three dimensions, namely appraisal support (i.e. having someone to share private thoughts and worries with), belonging support (i.e. having someone to do nice activities with), and tangible support (i.e. having people that would help you with everyday chores or challenges). You will be getting a score on each of these dimensions to see exactly what your social support strengths are and where you could improve.

After you got your scores, it is time to put in the work and put the things you’ve learned into practice, step by step.

It is important to note that you have to be careful when interpreting these self-report scores, especially with the loneliness scale. If you feel like you need help, turn to a professional.

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How lonely are you really?

UCLA Loneliness Scale (Version 3)

Please indicate how often each statement describes you.

1. How often do you feel that you are “in tune” with the people around you?
   Never Rarely Sometimes Often
2. How often do you feel that you lack companionship?
   Never Rarely Sometimes Often
3. How often do you feel that there is no one you can turn to?
   Never Rarely Sometimes Often
4. How often do you feel alone?
   Never Rarely Sometimes Often
5. How often do you feel part of a group of friends?
   Never Rarely Sometimes Often
6. How often do you feel that you have a lot in common with the people around you?
   Never Rarely Sometimes Often
7. How often do you feel that you are no longer close to anyone?
   Never Rarely Sometimes Often
8. How often do you feel that your interests and ideas are not shared by those around you?
   Never Rarely Sometimes Often
9. How often do you feel outgoing and friendly?
   Never Rarely Sometimes Often
10. How often do you feel close to people?
    Never Rarely Sometimes Often
11. How often do you feel left out?
    Never Rarely Sometimes Often
12. How often do you feel that your relationships with others are not meaningful?
    Never Rarely Sometimes Often
13. How often do you feel that no one really knows you well?
    Never Rarely Sometimes Often
14. How often do you feel isolated from others?
    Never Rarely Sometimes Often
15. How often do you feel you can find companionship when you want it?
    Never Rarely Sometimes Often
16. How often do you feel that there are people who really understand you?
    Never Rarely Sometimes Often
17. How often do you feel shy?
    Never Rarely Sometimes Often
18. How often do you feel that people are around you but not with you?
    Never Rarely Sometimes Often
19. How often do you feel that there are people you can talk to?
    Never Rarely Sometimes Often
20. How often do you feel that there are people you can turn to?
    Never Rarely Sometimes Often

Submit

Russell, D. W. (1996). UCLA Loneliness Scale (Version 3): Reliability, validity, and factor structure. Journal of Personality Assessment, 66(1), 20–40. https://doi.org/10.1207/s15327752jpa6601_2

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How much social support do you get?

Appraisal Support Scale

Please indicate how true each statement is for you.

1. 1. I feel that there is no one I can share my most private worries and fears with.
   Definitely false
   Probably false
   Probably true
   Definitely true
2. 2. There is someone I can turn to for advice about handling problems with my family.
   Definitely false
   Probably false
   Probably true
   Definitely true
3. 3. When I need suggestions on how to deal with a personal problem, I know someone I can turn to.
   Definitely false
   Probably false
   Probably true
   Definitely true
4. 4. If a family crisis arose, it would be difficult to find someone who could give me good advice about how to handle it.
   Definitely false
   Probably false
   Probably true
   Definitely true

Submit

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Belonging Support Scale

Please indicate how true each statement is for you.

1. 1. If I wanted to go on a trip for a day (for example, to the country or mountains), I would have a hard time finding someone to go with me.
   Definitely false
   Probably false
   Probably true
   Definitely true
2. 2. If I decide one afternoon that I would like to go to a movie that evening, I could easily find someone to go with me.
   Definitely false
   Probably false
   Probably true
   Definitely true
3. 3. I don't often get invited to do things with others.
   Definitely false
   Probably false
   Probably true
   Definitely true
4. 4. If I wanted to have lunch with someone, I could easily find someone to join me.
   Definitely false
   Probably false
   Probably true
   Definitely true

Submit

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Tangible Support Scale

Please indicate how true each statement is for you.

1. 1. If I were sick, I could easily find someone to help me with my daily chores.
   Definitely false
   Probably false
   Probably true
   Definitely true
2. 2. If I had to go out of town for a few weeks, it would be difficult to find someone who would look after my house or apartment (the plants, pets, garden, etc.).
   Definitely false
   Probably false
   Probably true
   Definitely true
3. 3. If I was stranded 10 miles from home, there is someone I could call who could come and get me.
   Definitely false
   Probably false
   Probably true
   Definitely true
4. 4. If I needed some help in moving to a new house or apartment, I would have a hard time finding someone to help me.
   Definitely false
   Probably false
   Probably true
   Definitely true

Submit

Cohen, S., Mermelstein, R., Kamarck, T., & Hoberman, H. M. (1985). Measuring the functional components of social support. In I. G. Sarason & B. R. Sarason (Eds.), Social support: Theory, research and applications (pp. 73–94). Springer. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-94-009-5115-0_5

🔗 Links

Links to language courses

Universiteit Utrecht:
https://www.babel.nl/nl/taalcursussen/nederlands-voor-anderstaligen
Universiteit Leiden:
https://www.universiteitleiden.nl/atc/cursussen/nederlands-2-intensief
Rijksuniversiteit Groningen:
https://taalunieversum.org/inhoud/taaluniecentrum-nederlands-als-vreemde-taal/universiteiten/rug
Vrije Universiteit Amsterdam: https://taalunieversum.org/inhoud/taaluniecentrum-nederlands-als-vreemde-taal/universiteiten/vrije-universiteit-amsterdam
Universiteit van Amsterdam:
https://www.uva-talen.nl/nl/cursus/nederlands-nt2
Tilburg University:
https://www.tilburguniversity.edu/nl/onderwijs/tilburg-university-language-center/dutch/advanced-courses/fluent-speaking
Radboud Universiteit Nijmegen:
https://www.radboudintolanguages.nl/nl/taalcursussen/nederlands-nt2
TU Delft:
https://taalunieversum.org/inhoud/taaluniecentrum-nederlands-als-vreemde-taal/universiteiten/tu-delft
TU Eindhoven:
https://taalunieversum.org/inhoud/taaluniecentrum-nederlands-als-vreemde-taal/universiteiten/technische-universiteit-eindhoven
Maastricht University:
https://taalunieversum.org/inhoud/taaluniecentrum-nederlands-als-vreemde-taal/universiteiten/universiteit-maastricht
Universiteit Twente:
https://taalunieversum.org/inhoud/taaluniecentrum-nederlands-als-vreemde-taal/universiteiten/universiteit-twente

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Links to Dutch social norms

https://www.thehagueinternationalcentre.nl/why-the-hague-region/the-netherlands-in-a-nutshell/cultural-dos-and-donts

https://moneywood.nl/social-skills-netherlands-5-unwritten-rules

https://iwcn.nl/living/dutch-customs-and-cultures

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References

Cohen, S., & Wills, T. A. (1985). Stress, social support, and the buffering hypothesis. Psychological Bulletin, 98(2), 310–357. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.98.2.310

Cohen, S., Mermelstein, R., Kamarck, T., & Hoberman, H. M. (1985). Measuring the functional components of social support. In I. G. Sarason & B. R. Sarason (Eds.), Social support: Theory, research and applications (pp. 73–94). Springer. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-94-009-5115-0_5

Maurizi et al. (2014): Meta-Analysis linking social support to academic achievement https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3648874

Maurizi et al. (2014): Social support buffers the negative effect of depressive symptoms on academic achievement https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3648874/

Russell, D. W. (1996). UCLA Loneliness Scale (Version 3): Reliability, validity, and factor structure. Journal of Personality Assessment, 66(1), 20–40. https://doi.org/10.1207/s15327752jpa6601_2